Anything you can do, I can do better...

So, for those of you who have planned a wedding, or are currently planning one, there's one thing you realize very quickly.

Damn, weddings are expensive.

I've come across some awesome blogs and websites out in Internetland that have been really helpful. I used to think that everything needed to be pre-ordered, customized, and printed out in elegant fonts and placed in beautiful envelopes. I'm all about DIY, but there's some things that I just didn't even think about trying to make on my own.

Like the programs.
Or candles.

Did you even know you can just MAKE candles? Like. OMG.

And I had some awesome lighting ideas, but when it came down to pricing some things were just way too pricey. But then I found an amazing how-to on making your own mason jar lanterns.

Needless to say, it's pretty amazing what you can do with paper, wax, and a little bit of inspiration.

My point to this blog is that if you have your mind set on something, FIND a way to do it. I'll keep posting some of the DIY projects I'll be undertaking so you can see some of the great ideas I've found!

But some recommendations that have come in handy for me:
-Focus on your strengths. Are you creative? Are you organized? Figure out what you're best at, and if it's making things, make things. If you are better at making lists and delegating tasks, do that.
-Enlist family and friends to help you. Don't even try to think you can do everything on your own.
-Don't be afraid to loosen the reigns a little. When I was thinking about what I wanted my wedding to be like, it was a great mix of unique and traditional. Traditional invitations, but unique music, traditional lighting, unique decorations. My suggestion is not to stick anything in stone. You should always keep your mind open to ideas. You might be surprised. :)

Lucky we're in love in every way...

The one thing I'm learning about planning a wedding is that almost nothing you set out to do actually works out the way you want it to.


Which, I guess, is a good thing and a bad thing. I'm not afraid of change, but when things change so much and so fast you can't keep up, it leaves your brain spinning a bit.


The wedding is back in Iowa. I know, I know. You're thinking, make up you're freaking mind already. I have. several times. Unfortunately life seems to have a different idea of how I'm supposed to do things. 


So, for the last time, we're officially having the wedding here. We found a beautiful location in Winterset, and while it's still a little bit of a drive, it's perfect. We're excited, though now I actually have to plan this shindig.


I'm lucky I'm marrying someone who loves their family enough to accommodate them, and I know that in the scheme of things, this day is just one more day in the grand scheme of our life together. While it stings a little now, it's merely a speedbump in an otherwise smooth road.


So, keep May 28th open on your calender. There's going to be a pretty awesome party happening up the street from John Wayne's birthplace. 


Love,
Jana

If I ever leave this world alive.

Steven and I like to think of ourselves as a bit untraditional. We're definitely not your PDA filled, googly eyes kind of couple that has to constantly be sitting on the other's laps. (Though if we were he'd be sitting on mine.) We've heard for years that some of our friends actually think we hate each other because when we're in public one is constantly ridiculing the other.


The first couple months of our relationship tested us not only as a very new couple, but as people. Was I going to be the kind of person that gave up because I was thrown into a horrible situation with absolutely no warning? Was he going to be the kind of person the succumbed to his disease and let the fact that he was sick dictate his happiness? Those questions made us look at each other and our relationship differently then most people do. I don't wish the crap that Steven and I have gone through on anyone, however I wouldn't change a minute of it if it means it would've changed the outcome. I may be a harder person then I was 4 years ago, but I'm also more myself today, in spite of it all, then I have ever been. We like to say that we hit the "in sickness and in health" part of our relationship a little sooner then most, and that commitment, so early on, is what makes our relationship so strong. Yeah, Steven may forget to open a door for me every once a while, but he makes up for being an idiot in public every morning when he kisses me goodbye.


I can only pray that the people that judge our relationship get the chance to have someone love them, and to love someone else, with such wreckless abandon. Its invigorating.


So, in the spirit of being untraditional, we've decided to have the wedding that we wanted from the beginning. Life is too short to do things for other people all the time, and as many of you may be hurt by this I hope you understand that we didn't make this decision to be vindictive. We're going to Vegas. We're having Elvis marry us. And we're going to have it be exactly what we wanted it to be all along: something we wouldn't forget. Because as great as caterers, and centerpieces, and bouquets are for some people, it's just not our style.


You're more then welcome to join us in Vegas. 


With love,
Jana

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong.

Steven and I started our relationship on a horribly cold, rainy, miserable day in May of 2006. We met at an outdoor concert my high school was putting on, and, as fate would have it, fell in love in a matter of days. But sometimes life has different plans for you then you have for yourself.... and we're living, breathing proof that where there's a will, there's a way.


I've been meaning to publish a blog about the first few months of our lives together, but every time I try to put it into words I find that nothing quite explains how messy those days were. I'll never know if we made it through it due to pure adrenaline rush, or if there's something really powerful about the human spirit, or love, that held it all together. 


Within the first few days of us dating, I had my tonsils taken out. It sucked. But Steven came over and brought me Wendy's frosties and his presence just made me feel better. Tonsils or not, it felt like everything was finally falling into place for me. 


Until the next night, when we got a call. My step-mom, Jeni, answered the phone and immediately I knew something was wrong. She hung up and told me that Steven was in the ER at Methodist, he had a bowel obstruction, and things weren't looking too great. I couldn't drive because I was completely narc'd up, but my dad promised to take me to the hospital the next morning. 


Two weeks later Steven was still in the hospital. I found out that when he was 9 he was diagnosed with Crohn's disease, a far cry from the "stomach problem" he told me he had on our first official date. Crohn's disease is an auto-immune disorder where your immune system, for some reason, finds your digestive tract foreign and attacks it. This can cause a lot of pain, swelling, inflammation, and a series of other problems. This specific time, they decided to try to treat Steven medically before they looked into any kind of surgical intervention... that failed. That July, more then a month later, he was scheduled for a bowel resection. His surgery was successful, and the hope was that starting his slate off clean, mixed with high powered immuno-suppressant drugs and prayer, the disease could go into remission. We spent almost a whole summer waiting, wishing, praying, hoping, and trusting people we didn't even know to do what was best for Steven. 


But his nurses became our friends, and they cared just as much as we did that he would get better. They helped me set up "date nights" and let me bring in food from the outside world to make him feel just a little more like he wasn't stuck in Hell. We made sure he was constantly surrounded by friends and family, and when we got discouraged we started planning out our future. We knew that there was something to this, and we wouldn't give it up without a fight.


Our experience that summer made us grow up fast, and appreciate the small things in life. It was a hard road getting to where we are. 


Steven still has Crohn's disease, that'll never go away. The past 4 years have brought new challenges. There's been more surgeries, more tests, and more bad news. But we hope that we can be an example of moving up and moving on, and God won't hand you anything you don't have the means to handle.


I don't know exactly how to finish this blog except to say that everyone has a story. I hope yours in happier then ours, but even if it isn't, make the most of it. You can find beautiful things in some of the messiest places.

Such great heights.

Things that nobody tells you when you're planning the biggest event of your life is that things really don't ever work out quite the way you want them to.


We wanted Elvis to marry us in Vegas and have a huge reception when we got back. That was quickly trumped by people who wanted to see us get married. Ugh. 


We wanted a small, 40 person wedding in the aquarium at the zoo then have a huge reception afterwards. The reception hall was too small.


We wanted to elope somewhere far, far, far from here then have a huge reception when we got back. We were already too far in to do that.


So now our wedding has turned into somewhat of a monstrosity. 
We're up to over 300 people attending the ceremony alone, and that doesn't even include the people who plus one. So we're talking big. Like. Way bigger then we ever wanted.


Here's my ideal wedding. And no, it has nothing to do with Elvis.


I want to go to Ireland and find an old, rustic castle. I want to have the ceremony, just us and the officiant, then spend the rest of the day exploring all the history in one of the most beautiful countries in the world.


However, to get married in Ireland you have to live there for 8 days before you can even apply for a marriage license, then you have a waiting period. Now I'm not beyond moving to Ireland for a few weeks... its just that my budget is fully against it.


So now we're having our rock n' roll wedding right here in the heart of the Midwest. Which is fine. We grew up here, our families are here, and we're excited. We just didn't factor in exactly how stressful it is to plan a day that feels like right now is mostly just to make other people happy. Like I said, I wanted Elvis. 


Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for having the opportunity for my family, friends, and just about anyone else who wants to come be a part of our day. We've had such an amazing amount of support from the people around us that it means the world to know that all of you will be there tearing up at our expense. We've been through so much in the past 4 years, and this day is a testament to how much you can suffer through and still come out on top. For those of you who believe, love truly never fails.


And at the end of the day I get to be married to my best friend. You can't really beat that.


Word.
Jana

From Bangkok to Calgary.

As I posted in an earlier episode, music is really important to us. 
So on my iPod (thanks mom!) I currently have a playlist oh-so cleverly named "Wedding." It consists of several songs we're using during the ceremony or important songs at the reception (first dance songs, father/daughter, etc.) It also consists of some really awesome love songs. Or songs that have some sort of importance to Steven and I. 


I thought I'd share my awesome, completely random playlist with you.


Baby, I'm Yours/ Arctic Monkeys (our first dance)
Christmas Canon Rock/ Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Walking in the Air/ Nightwish 
Magic/ Ben Folds
Until I Die/ Ben Kweller
Something/ The Beatles
I'll Follow you into the Dark/ Deathcab for Cutie
The Luckiest/ Ben Folds (wedding party processional)
Such Great Heights/ Iron and Wine (family seating)
Brightest/ Copeland (Current bride processional, though that seems to change frequently.)
I Want to Die/ Nuclear Rodeo
You Picked Me/ A Fine Frenzy
Beating Heart Baby/ Head Automatica
Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head/ B.J. Thomas
'Til There was You/ The Beatles
I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor/ Arctic Monkeys




I'm sure to add more as the days pass. Keep checking for updates.

A numbers game.

I'm really bad at math. Anyone who knows me knows that I can barely count, let alone try to put together all the numbers that are added up in a wedding.

For example, putting together equations like this:

If our wedding venue has a floor that's 60' x 120' how many 5' round tables that seat 8 people each can we place on the floor if we're expecting 250 guests?

This blog is meant mostly for you to figure that out so I don't have to.

Email me.

Thanks!

Until the stars fall from the sky.

So, to those of you who know Steven and I, you know that we've lived together for quite a while. Whether or not you agree with that is not the issue, but it brought up a big problem when deciding what we'd like to put on our gift registry.

We were at a complete loss. The last 3 years we've accrued a lot of really nice things; Art, silverware, dishes, appliances, etc. So we decided that the easiest way to go about this is to just go to Target, get the scanner and go a little nuts.

Oh, were we wrong.

Upon our arrival the Target (I'd like it if in your head you pronounced that "Tar-jay") in Urbandale, we figured we'd find some cool stuff to fix our house up. For those of you who don't know, Steven and I were fortunate enough to stumble upon a really cool deal on a very nice house in West Des Moines. A physician I work with happened to have an extra house that no one was living in and had fallen into some.... disrepair. In return for fixing up the house, we get to live there. It's a great deal for us, since starting our married life out together in a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom split foyer in Suburbia is a hell of a lot better then the 2 bedroom apartment we're currently sharing with a roommate that isn't our biggest fan. Long story short, we're going to have to put a lot of work into this house, so we figured we'd start with home improvements and work our way out. We quickly learned that Target is NOT a good place for that. 

So an hour and a half later, we pretty much have your typical items: An iron, some nice solar lights for the garden in the front, and some towels. 

As well as some things that will come in super handy: CITY Lego Police Academy, 2 Nerf guns, a Super-Soaker and an industrial size bag of Iams dog food. 

Our justification for these items is simple. If all married people do is sit around and iron, garden and shower, it's going to be a very boring life. What married people should do is take time to appreciate the quirks about each other. Like the fact that Steven is so anal that he will build a Lego city from the ground up following every meticulous instruction in the manual. What that says to me is that since I'm ridiculously unorganized, Steven will always be there to pick up the pieces I leave in a disheveled mess behind me, literally and figuratively. And since married couples are bound to have a fight or two, what's a better way to solve the issue then with a Nerf gun war? You may think talking it out is the best solution, but trust me, until you've pelted someone with a Nerf gun you have no idea how much healing power they hold. Though I can assure you all that the fine china we get (along with any other valuables) will be placed out of harms way prior to said battle.

Anywho. If you got anything out of this post, hopefully it's that we're registered at Target and there are things on the list that don't include any kind of plastic artillery. 


Thanks for reading.
With love,
Jana

And the tree was happy.

Just remember, darling, you belong to me.

It seems as though the biggest debate thus far (aside from the fact that we wanted to do this in Vegas....) has been what music we want in the ceremony. Us both having very musical pasts, presents, and inevitably musical futures has made what music we choose crucial to the atmosphere we want to provide our guests with. Walking down the aisle to Pachelbel's "Canon in D" just wasn't cutting it, but I don't want to give the the previously mentioned conservative grandfather (as well as rest of our more elderly family members) a heart attack. It was also kind of a big deal that we had as much live music as physically possible.

So we contracted some of our amazingly talented friends and family to fill in some of the blanks. My wonderful brother, Josh, has willingly handed over the dibs he had on the song "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds. He's also agreed to not only play this masterpiece, but to sing it while our wedding party is walking. That was one VERY big check off my list, because I couldn't very well have 10 of the most important people in my life walking to just anything. I don't know how we're going to get a baby grand into the venue, but we'll get it done. It may involve some Grand Theft Piano, which at that point I don't think many of us will be horribly opposed to. (Which reminds me, if you happen to have a baby grand piano lying around, call me.)

Also on this list is our amazing friend Jake, who so

graciously agreed to sing while I walk down the aisle. At this point, we're not sure to what, but his agreement to do so without asking any questions was an amazing test of character that he passed with flying colors. I am so excited to hear what him and Steven come up with, since Steven will be playing the guitar for him. Just to give you a little bit of a hint since I know you're just DYING to know what song will lead up to the most important 20 minutes of my life, we're looking at 2 different ones that I'm giving Jake and Steven the final say on. I'm pretty sure whatever they decide to do will make me bawl my head off. I suggest you pack plenty of tissues, my friends, this one's bound to be a tear jerker.

I'm pretty sure this wedding will be WAY more like a rock concert then a spiritual ceremony, and personally, I don't think either of us would have it any other way.

Until next time,

Jana

Baby, I'm yours.

So this all started a little over 4 years ago when a boy met a girl in a comic book store.

He said: "I hear people that play drums are stupid."

As a drummer, she wasn't sure whether to be offended, or amused.

She took the bait.

They've been in love ever since.

And in 4 months, 2 weeks, and 2 days, they're making that love official. Or in the words of Jana's wonderful grandpa George, "we will no longer be living in sin."

So in the spirit of being (close to) legit, we thought we'd let you in on all the fun we've been having putting this shindig together.

We hope you enjoy the journey as much as we have.

With love,

Steven and Jana